It's been a long time since I've post something on my blog. Oh well..I haven't got a lot of time to finish an entry. I've got so many drafts on my dashboard which I wasn't able to finish for lack of time. But since my two students were absent today I'm gonna let my heart out. Haha. I've been dealing with this feeling for quiet sometime. From the time I enter law school life has been a different thing. I have to change my lifestyle. Adjust my time. Forget about spending to much into something unimportant. Though I still manage to balance my work and studies there's still somethings I can't hold on to. And that is friendship.
Last Sunday I got a message from Sette telling us that she broke up with Je. She texted me around 12in the midnight but unfortunately I 've read the message around 3am for its the time that I have to go to my work. I just had a short chitchat with her since that time she still awake. i think we just exchange 5 messages and that's it. That wasn't surprising. Most of the time I sent reply to those who texted me an hour or more late and worst sometimes I just ignore it. That's a bad habit I know. But I can't help not to do it. There were times that I can't help but think that the main reason why most of my friends got no time for some friendship moments its because I myself can't give it too. The feeling of being stranger with your friends. I hate it. I wanted to pause and spend a quiet sometime with them. Ask them what's going on. Give them a hug and show them how a friend can change the world's shit to something good.
So how do I deal with changes?
This poor little girl don't know how to deal with it. I'm honest to that. I'm having a hard time when it comes to dealing with changes. I'm too emotional though I'm trying not to show it. Oh well.. I tried not to get envy everytime they got new friends and suddenly forget about the old ones. Cancan and my bhe half knew that. They're the one who notice it. Its not bad to have new friends but sometimes just because where too happy with new ones we forget about the old ones. I felt guilty when I realized that I almost change not because I got new ones but because I was too busy...
Cope with it.
Things that Marshi wants to do before leaving the earth:
1. Be a Lawyer.
2. Publish a book.
3. Build my dream house.
4. Build a classroom in my adopted community.
5. Be the best wife and mom.
6. Travel the whole world.
7. Produce a concert.
8. Go back to my old school and have my speech.
9. Teach Filipino students.
my two cents worth..
I started blogging when I was a sophomore college student. It was just a free site offered by friendster. com. that time blogging was not that a thing. It was more of a hobby of releasing your thoughts through those keys. I had so many site but unfortunately most of them got no space already that is why I created this one. This is my own way of sharing my personal views. I'm not a back stabber. I can shout right in front of you if I know that I'm telling the truth and you're juts doing your shit. I'm not patient in waiting but I'm trying to be. I'm hard headed. I fight for what I believe is right but I also knew when to raise my white flag. I don't easily forgive and forget. I value education that is why I hate seeing students cutting their classes just for the sake of enjoying with their friends. I'm not a grade concious nor a role model of the campus. I'm just one of those students whom everyone thought would just make a shit but surprisingly do a hit. You might think I'm bragging but I'm not. I always believe that I'm still the little girl raised in my home town. Little enough to look up but big enough to chase. I still need to search for myself. Make the neccesary adjustment to fit the world and have my own identity. I owe everything to this world. I might look a bratt but I knew when to bow my head and kneel if standing was going difficult. I owe everything not just to my Lord and my parents but for everyone who've hurted, disppointed and made me feel small for those are the reasons why I keep on searching for myself and putting my best forward.
" Righteousness??hindi lang sa hindi ka gumagawa ng mali..kelangan mo din gumawa ng tama.."