Welcome back to me!ahaha

Woa! Long time no post! It's been a while since I got something on my site. Oh well..I'd tried to squizzed it up with my sched but I was sooo busy. I even had days when I went to work without taking a bath. siyet!ahaha..but good thing I was able to surpass a sem without loosing my job. I've got a lot of things to tell but I still have to sleep. haha. i just had an hour of sleep yesterday. I'm deadly tired yet i'm happy for in my last exam i was able to answer those freaking questions.ahaha. All those things were on my reviewer. Woa! God is so good to me. Wee!

Wanna see how I so blessed this quarter? Here's the list  of the simple yet so meaningful blessing I got from bestfriend:

Still @ yoon's with no record of absents. :)

me and my bhe celebrated our second anniversary last august.

Cancan's mom finished the chemotheraphy session with positive results. :)

I got a new teaching job as part of  SM project. (tenx te tet for the referal)

(hopefully with good grades)

Finished the first semester.

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Those were just few among the list for I might consume the whole page if i'll list down all of those blessings. basta Thank You Lord! mwah! ^^

Battle of the Brain..less?

Why am I gonna blog something about this?Well, this might probably surprise everyone except for my bhe half. He knows it. And I think he's dealing with it for me. For loves sake. ahaha. So here comes my disorder. Tenen! Anxeity as what wikipedia defines is a psychological and physiological state characterized by cognitive, somatic, emotional, and behavioral components These components combine to create an unpleasant feeling that is typically associated with uneasiness, fear, or worry. If you are following my blog ( i hope so?) you'll probably have an idea about my so called battle. I've been dealing with this for quiet sometime. Honestly,I already had this feeling when I'm still in my grade school years.I never grew up with compliments.I have my own world. Though I got alot friends most of the time I can't deal with my anxiety. I had this feeling that I'm the most ugly person in earth, the one who got a disgusting look not to mention my body size, my color, my hair, my teeth..everything about me. I almost had this thought at the back of my mind that everyone will do shit to me just because I'm just like this. You might be laughing while reading this post but this is a serious thing I think (just I thought?) that up to now I've been dealing with. If you could still recall I've mentioned something about "script" on my post about Surprise. So here's the picture. My bhehalf's friend was her x. And I invited her. She's a nice person and there's no question about that. I invited her not just because she's supposed to be in that place for she's one of  my bhe half's tropa way back in highschool but for the reason that I also wanna test myself. Sounds so selfish right? But that is the only way (i think again?) that I could overcome this feeling of being anxious. I don't know where the hell I got this feeling but if I could only forget it as simple as forgetting the answers during recitation I WOULD. But this is a process..which I think I positively going through. Before we enter the house I told my bhehalf not to leave me. He's clueless that time. I tried to avoid it. Grrrrr! But I can't. I wanted to stop the thoughts coming into my head but I was as if a pc generating a program on it. But the next few hours he sat beside me he knew that something was wrong and then he gave me a hug. So what's the result of my ultimate test? I'm a bit fine now. Though there's still moment where i feel the same thing but gladly I'm starting to feel good about myself.

I'M UNIQUE.
I'M DIFFERENT.
I'M SPECIAL.

 As such, it is distinguished from fear, which occurs in the presence of an observed threat. Additionally, fear is related to the specific behaviors of escape and avoidance, whereas anxiety is the result of threats that are perceived to be uncontrollable or unavoidable.

"a future-oriented mood state in which one is ready or prepared to attempt to cope with upcoming negative events" . A distinction between future vs. present dangers that divides anxiety and fear.

-----------------Way to go Marshi! Adja!

Surprise! Again? haha..

09.25.09 This ain't new to me..I'm fond of suprising people. But mind you guys, not a simple surprise. I've done something like this two years ago. (You can visit my old site for details http://kookhai.wordpress.com/). After two years, I've decided again to setup my bhehalf.haha. I started planning for that surprise for about a month. After our anniversary I started searching his friends over different social networks. My plan was to invite his highschool and college friends. Meeting his college friends would be easy since my boardmate is one of his tropa planning would be easy. But I didn't expect that it would be that difficult this time. Woah! Aside from the fact I'm busy with my school I still have to deal with my students and all the deadlines. Not to mention those time that I almost caught up with my plan. But still I was able to do it. Well..ahaha..
So here's the original plan...

After my shift (that's 9am) I'll go to his crib while his at school. I'll help daddy with food stuffs. i'll go back to Sta. Mesa so Ken won't notice anything about my plan.

Ken would invite all his classmates thinking that all of them will attend then on the last minute have their different excuses. Obviously, he should notice that it was part of the plan. :)

At 3pm when all things are up we'll go to his crib and that's it! ;)

What happened....

At 9am after my shift I went to their crib.  Withhout any idea where's their crib.haha. They just moved there few weeks ago tha's why no one knows his crib.

I arrived there at about 11am. Woah! I thought I'm lost. Well, partly lost. haha. I had to take the jeepney again and again.hahaha.Maybe its because I haven't sleep yet that's why I my brain was at my feet. I brought a cake from Red ribbon. I had to go back to the main avenue and walk for about half an hour just to see that freaking bakeshop.

 I went back to Sta.Mesa at 12noon. Ken's class was over. I'm still calm for I already talk to his groupmates about the plan. They'll be the one in charge for the delay of his celeb because of the feasib meeting. i even had the chance to read my book while I'm on my journey. After an hour in the traffic jam I recieved again a message from my bhehalf. Their meeting was over and he'll be going to mycrib. What????? I'm still a street away from my crib. I hurriedly jump out on the cab and ran as fast as I could. Good thing I won the race.haha

DISAPPOINTED! I saw a big sign on my bhehalf's face when he got into my crib. No one will join us on his birthday. As much as I wanted to cheer him up still he wouldn't mind it. That wasn't exactly my plan. I told carlo to leave even just two or three of his groupmates so he won't be totally devasted. But apparently, we had some misunderstanding on the plan. Emergency Plan to the rescue.

We wait til 4pm for Carlo. So we headed to his crib with Jr, Carlo, Kua Cha and Mark. He's a bit ok now. haha. WHile we where in the cabn daddy texted him telling him that his highschool friends are there in the house. Waaaaaaa! That's also not part of the plan. Grrrr! Ken ask me if i did something on his bday perhaps a surprise or anything. Since I was a theather artist during highschool i was able to hide the fact that i was the one who plan all that shit. haha.

5pm. We're about to enter the villa when I started telling him my sorry. haha. I told him my script.haha.(I'll blog it later.haha. That's a different thing. haha.) I let the the four boys enter the gate first. And so we follow them and went into the place. What's his reaction?well........ahaha