Declaration of power

I was browsing the net and searching for a copy of copy og PGMA's last SONA (hopefully..hehe) then suddenly I was directed to a site where in I've read about this testimony:

MY NAME is Melissa Roxas. I’m 31 years old. I was born in Manila, but my family immigrated to the United States when I was young, right after Ninoy was assassinated. My parents said there weren’t many economic opportunities available in the Philippines.
Growing up, I knew I was different from other American kids. When I was older and had a chance to return to the Philippines, I noticed I was different here too. I didn’t have a vivid memory of the Philippines, but I remember questioning why we had to be separated – why we had to leave and immigrate. I wanted to find out more about the world: why there was poverty, why there was inequality. If you asked me what I wanted to be then, I’ll say I knew I wanted to do something that would be important, that would make – not necessarily an impact – but something that would make me feel that I was doing something good in the world.
I was already an activist, but I started being involved with Philippine issues much later on. I’ve always felt close to health care issues, and one of the places I remember going to was Payatas. The Philippines I saw in Payatas was very different from the Philippines I saw when my relatives took me around. Ever since that trip I’ve been going back and forth the United States and the Philippines for missions. Being in the Philippines and having that experience means you can’t ignore the human rights aspect of it. People who want to change what’s going on become targets. Many of them are killed, or are disappeared. I started getting involved in human rights missions.
I was in La Paz, Tarlac on May 19, 2009. We had been doing health care surveys in the community, and had slept over. We were just there resting that morning, talking, watching a noontime show.
We heard them at the door.
They are telling us to open it. There is a man wearing a white shirt he is the only one without a bonnet he is telling us to open the door and the door is forced open and they come through the front door come through the back door. There are about 15 men and they have long firearms and bonnets on and they try to push us down on the floor with our faces to the ground. I keep saying no and they push me and start to punch me and they force me to my knees and shove my face to the ground. And then I see Juanito and John Edward and everyone in the house being forced up. And the men tape their mouths, tie blindfolds over eyes. I start resisting. I keep saying my name as hard and as loud as I can. “Melissa Roxas. Melissa Roxas!” I keep thinking, I don’t want to go with these people.
They started dragging me and there was gravel and my nose was bleeding after they punched me and I saw the van, the van outside, there outside, and I put my foot against the side of the van while they were pushing me in. I was doing everything I could because I didn’t want to get in that van because I knew if I got in that van – I just didn’t want to get in the van. I kept yelling my name. They couldn’t get the blindfold on me because I kept ripping it off. They pushed me into the van and handcuffed me and that was the only time they could blindfold me but they couldn’t put the tape on my mouth because I was vomiting. They forced my head down because they didn’t want me to see outside. We drove. And I remember thinking that I didn’t want to panic. I had to remember everything, to keep track of time in my own head. I couldn’t see and I was facing the floor and I was vomiting. Then we were pausing. Gravel. Some kind of road and there was a pause, then the van stopped. Then I thought: This is it they’re going to kill us, this is it. They drove a little. Stopped. I thought the same thing. They told me to step down.
They took me into a cramped cell. They didn’t feed me for the first two days, had me drink only once or twice during that time. I just wanted to not lose it. I was trying very hard to keep track. I kept thinking that I had to think and I was terrified and I would peek under my blindfold and I knew there was someone watching.
The interrogation started early. It was almost round the clock. They took me out of the jail cell to that little place just before you reach the screen door. That was where they beat me. That was where they strangled me. They asked me many things. They were accusing me of being a member of the CPP-NPA and I kept saying I was not. I kept saying, My name is Melissa Roxas, and I want access to a lawyer. I want to talk to a lawyer, that’s all I kept saying. They kept trying to tell me I was part of the CPP-NPA. And then I kept saying, just kept saying, kept saying my name and that I want to see a lawyer. And they said even if you’re here a year you’ll never see a lawyer. We got you clean, no one knows you’re here. You’ll never see a lawyer.
The interrogation never ended. It’s hard to say what the worst was, because everything was worst for me because every minute I was there I thought I was going to die. When they were beating me they put a plastic bag over my head and they put on a first one and then a second one and all I kept thinking was I’m going to die and all I saw was white and I was losing my breath and I remember having, thinking – couldn’t breathe. They started telling me that they were just tools of God to make people return into the fold of the law. And I told them that God can never do that, can never torture people. And I said the only people who can do that are demons. And I told them I didn’t believe them.
I don’t know exactly why I was released. While I was with them I eventually told them that I was a US citizen. Maybe they were afraid of that. They kept telling me, we’re friends right? We’re friends right? You won’t tell anyone what happened?
I don’t want it to happen ever again to anyone, and I want the Philippine government and the Philippine military to be held accountable for what they did to me, and what they are doing to other people. They can’t keep denying it. I am still afraid. Every day, I’m still afraid. But I know what the truth is. I know what happened. I know what I heard. And I know what I saw. And I want to testify.
* * *
Melissa Roxas flew in from the United States last Monday after leaving the country immediately after her release. She returned at the request of the Court of Appeals to testify on her abduction and torture, and is under the protection of the Commission on Human Rights.
ANC’s Storyline features her narrative Sunday at 3:30 p.m.
---I can still feel the anguish with melissa's thoughts. I also had the same story about my friend/ate who died 2years ago because of the same thing that Melissa had. It's been 2years now but still justice hasn't prevail with my friend's case..hayyy

Layout for SINGLES

**pa comment na lang yung gusto nyo and if may suggestion p.. :)

an labo ng alang..basta yung statement nya..sinong may sabing may sumpa ang SINGLES??tas sa likod nun yung MATAKOT KA!! tas yung pang 5th tshirt yun nmn yung puro SINGLES na word..

ayun..

wedding bells

I just got home today from a wedding. The wedding was nice. Thumbs up for the reception. I just noticed some things which I think unusual but funny little things during the wedding. The bride was a duaghter of my Dad's friends. When she entered the church and start walking in the aisle she begun to cry. Most of the people in the wedding was getting emotional when the bride entered the room and begun crying. Her Dad whose a friend of my Dad teased them during the moment of kissing each other. The couple was a bit shy of displaying public affection. So he told them "Anu ba naman magkiss na kayo gutom na kame lahat dito.."haha.. I was the photo grapher of my daad that time that's why I had to be close with the altar. Upon taking pictures I noticed this man who's also taking pictures that time. He's wearing barong and looks like one of the Ninong. He keep on taking pictures to the extent that he was disturbing the official photographer of the wedding. It's kinda weird how these man was so addicted taking pictures to everyone while wearing a barong and not supposed to be part of the wedding ceremony. haha.


And so the weekend was about to end..I need to go back to my pad and read again..read again..read again..


am excited for the next weekend!weeee..girls night out..weee!



_akosimarshi:busy mode

bloody weekend

It wasn't just a TGIF but TGIS. Whoa! This was really a bloody week. I went back to Manila last Sunday thinking that I can finish all the stuff that I need to do. I spent the whole weekend just playing with my pc. I must blaim mae for uploading that game.haha. And so I started my weekend thinking that it would just be the same week like the last. Busy yet cool..but I was wrong. I started my week with my work as usual. Monday, I woke up at 3am and arrived at the office/school 30mins. earlier than my call time. After my shift I spent an hour at my pad to fix my things and wait for my bhe to fetch me. My class will start at 5pm but I had to go there and stay at the library and start digesting the case that I need to pass. I ended my day by sleeping at 10pm still I wasn't able to finish the things that I need to do. I'm still calm that time since I still have the whole day of Tuesday to study and do all the things that I need to do. So it was Tuesday already. Wake up at 3am and do the same thing. I went to the mall in the afternoon of that day for the repair of my phone. I went home after 2hours and study again. I started to cram when I checked my calendar and to my surprise I saw my note that I have to pass 2 Digested case on Wednesday. I started reading the said case I've finished the first one but I really feel so sleepy that's why I decided to sleep. With having 3hours sleep I woke up and went to my work. I need to get up no matter how I missed my bed so much. And so my busy Wednesday came, I finished the two cases on the last minute. whoa! I was thinking that time not to attend my next class but I was caught by a trap because Judge Castillo entered the classroom already while I was preparing myself to escape. Waaaa! I haven't read anything. I don't even took a quick scan on the pages on my book. I'm ready to be embarrass with the whole class. I have no choice but to face the humiliation. And so the ball started to roll. I was called but with God's grace I was able to answer it. The class ended at exaclty 9pm. I still have to recharge for I still have to wake up 3am for my shift. Waaa! It was Thursday already. Deadline for the 20cases and 250 pages of reading materials. i still have to finish my weekly report in the office and update my class record. Grrrr1 Where's my brain now?ahaha..After my work I went back to my crib and rushed rewriting my digested cases. Ten minutes before my class I went to the library where Aiwa was doing also her cases. Fortunately, the three of us (Aiwa, Sydney and Me) finished the 20 cases. But we still have something to fear despite the fact that we've finished the 20 cases. We haven't read anything on the 250 pages. After an hour there still no Atty. Laguilles entering our gloomy classroom. Again, I was save from embarassment. Whew! It's Friday already. TGIF as what I always told my students. The class was suspended so after my shift at the office/school I went home and study again. I went home at about an hour late I still need to do my weekly report and update my class record. I still have to work out with the 48 cases and read Article 19-36. I started reading at 1pm and stoped at 1 am. I didn't finished the whole thing. I just read 13 cases out of 40 and read up to Article 33. Saturday, I woke by Shane's call at 6am telling me that she'll be absent. I went to school 5 mins. before my class. This time I'm not groogy since I had an about 6hours of sleep. Wee! Four hours to go and finaly this week would be over. Wee! I went back to my hometown after the class. And now I'm here again with my pc. Its 12in the midnight already. Few minutes from now I'll sleep and by tomorrow I'll read again.....



read...read...read....


it was hard..but its fulfilling..a'm tired but am not stresssed...


thank God's its Saturday....Thank's for saving me the whole time......

getting older..

isn't it sweet?i was doing my project when suddenly without no reason at
all i search for images on the web under old couple category. it wasn't a
surprise to see sweet moments on the pictures. it was nice to know that despite
the increasing number of separation among couples there still some remains who
prooves that finding and spending the lifetime with your behalf would be the
nicest thing in earth. that no matter how old the both of you still holding each
other's hand would be the sweetest thing like you had on your first month. that
love is still after all...

_inlove..hihi

another week was over..

woah!
its weekend again..
i just wish i have a long weekend..
coz a day or two won't be fine me..
waaa..
have lot of things to do..grr..
i wanted to sleep atleast 7hours..
un lang naman..

but am happy with what i'm doing..
i'm just thinking dat i might collapse one of this days..huhu


_need a break?

when all you can do is to wait....

I haven't had a complete sleep this week. I'm about to loose my voice. I still have lots of stuff to do. I haven't read any of the case assigned to me. But still I'm working again for this blog. I just had a short chat with my college buddy. We we're talking about some serious stuff then suddenly it hits me..Grrrr! I'm getting emotional..I decided to sign out from the chat room. I leave the conversation without saying a word. I really missed my friends. I wanted to see them but my busy sched would be a big deal. The last time we had our trip was just last summer. But we were as if trapped with our own world for almost a decade. It was a rainy night in summer. We headed to South and leaved the polluted place of Manila to take some relaxing moments in a not so distant place. It wasn't the exact plan. The place was on the 3rd on our list. But whether its our 1st, 2nd or even none of our choice the place won't matter anymore. The main rule that night was to enjoy. No problems to air, no senti moments, not even a single drop of pain would give a damn. And so we enjoy the rest of the moment. It was nice that for a single night we forget of being miserable. That I never mentioned anything about my freaking job lost and how I was so hopeless thinking of it. It was weird how we were able to hide those anguish feeling from us. We'ere all wounded, we're all tired, saturated..but still were fighting..I just hope everything would be fine. Til the next rainy summer......

^ ^ i was the one wearing red jacket..

my two cents worth

I started blogging when I was a sophomore college student. It was just a free site offered by friendster. com. that time blogging was not that a thing. It was more of a hobby of releasing your thoughts through those keys. I had so many site but unfortunately most of them got no space already that is why I created this one. This is my own way of sharing my personal views. I'm not a back stabber. I can shout right in front of you if I know that I'm telling the truth and you're juts doing your shit. I'm not patient in waiting but I'm trying to be. I'm hard headed. I fight for what I believe is right but I also knew when to raise my white flag. I don't easily forgive and forget. I value education that is why I hate seeing students cutting their classes just for the sake of enjoying with their friends. I'm not a grade concious nor a role model of the campus. I'm just one of those students whom everyone thought would just make a shit but surprisingly do a hit. You might think I'm bragging but I'm not. I always believe that I'm still the little girl raised in my home town. Little enough to look up but big enough to chase. I still need to search for myself. Make the neccesary adjustment to fit the world and have my own identity. I owe everything to this world. I might look a bratt but I knew when to bow my head and kneel if standing was going difficult. I owe everything not just to my Lord and my parents but for everyone who've hurted, disppointed and made me feel small for those are the reasopns why I keep on searching for myself and putting my best forward.