Dilemma of a Law student

When I enter law school I knew that I’m going to face a lot of changes but I never expected that things would turn out that way. Law school life was entirely different from  the guileless  life I had from my college life.  Still I continue my dream of becoming a Lawyer, conquering every challenge that Law school brings. But aside from the cruel practice that Law school has, a law student shall also surpass the ultimate test of pressure. It is indeed inevitable for once life not to meet pressure. But a law student’s pressure seems so hard to overcome. Harder than the exams and recitations; Harder than expected.  A law student is expected to be not just bright but excellent.  And this is one of the pressure I often encounter. People expect answers from you for every question they raised. Failure is something they won’t think you’ll be encountering.  If  you answered their  questions and made them satisfied then that’s a fact but when you failed to answer and give them something they least expected that’s a big issue.  I remember this girl I met few months ago, we were in the same training and as expected examination is part of it. I was so surprised when she approached me and sarcastically gave her apology. What the hell is this girl talking? Yes I expected to fail on that exam, but I never expected such rude thing from her. I’m not competitive, never in my life I felt that way. I just do everything I wanted to do. I give my effort  but expect nothing for most of the time get disappointed.  I wanted to shout in front of her face and tell her that I’m not Google to know everything; That I don’t want to compete with her since that is not my forte; That I am not bright as everyone thought and that I could not answer all questions as they’re all expected.  But I can’t blame her and besides she’s not the only person who did that to me. Should I say I’m used to it? The next big thing you have to live with law school life is the demanding schedule.  More than I expected, law school is more than a partner’s request to stay and give him time. Law school would definitely deprive you from life’s pleasure. While everyone is partying every Friday night, enjoying a lunch out with the entire family during weekend, attending every event for socialization, but you? You just found yourself  either inside your room devoting much of your time reading all those cases and contemplating with each laws you have to study or inside the cold library doing the same thing.  But again, I’m used to it. I can’t even remember the latest movie I watched, the last time I got drank and the time I spent nothing but staring at the sky as what I used to do when I’m not yet in the law school.  The two weeks sembreak  is like a year of vacation for us; that  everyone get excited as if we could do everything we missed for the entire semester.  Sembreak is the only time we could make it up with people whom we really want to spend time but law school won’t permit us. And once the two week semestral break is over we have to go back again inside our cave do the same habit and continue striving for what we aim from the very start. The last thing is our identity crisis. Yes, we wanted to be called Attorney. It’s overwhelming when people call you that. But is in it good to hear people introducing you to other people as their true friend or anything that would exactly defines your personality not your achievement. Let’s face it, people will often feel a little aloof when they knew that you are studying law or you are a Lawyer. They would always think that you like winning the argument and they wouldn’t have any say for anything. But in reality, we do not want it. There are times we would prepare to say nothing  than to hear you saying that everyone should listen for we might sue any of you. We wanted to be treated the same despite being weird with the kind of lifestyle we have. Law school life is not easy, it never was and it never will. But despite of it, there still some who take the risk of joining and trying not just their luck but everything. We may be deprive of the pleasure that life could bring and be pressured with all the life could offer, we still stood and choose this path. Why? It’s not just because of the four letter word to be added on our name once we pass the bar. Nor the fame we could get once we surpassed the challenge of law school. But  because of the sense of purpose we’ll be getting for every case closed and happiness we’ll  bring for every family we extend our service. That’s what you call life. That’s what law school thought us about life. LEARN. SERVE. HAPPINESS.

Update. Long time no post.

It's been a while since I posted something here in my site. Oh well. It's always my sched that keeps me grounded from doing this. And I super missed this much. Just last summer I brought a new pink notebook.haha. So I get updated with my freinds even just thru the social network since my busy sched again would not permits me to visit them once in a while. And so I thought I could be updated, but unfortunately still no time to browse those sites nor has a time to open my notebook. Yes I'm too damn busy.  I've switched my carreer from being a korean teacher to a full time DELL accounts assoc. And it's not always about money but its about love. haha. I'll share that soon. haha. I'll flood my site soon. And that's a promise to myself. i'll be back in writing. I promise.

THE BEADER'S DIGEST

I'm going to open my new shop this summer.  Located here in the Philippines and hopefully in New York by next month. :) You can visit my site thebeadersdigest.webs.com for more infos.

Life oh Life!

a message received from an officemate of mine. i cant help but nod in approval hahaha!


BUHAY CALL CENTER AGENT/ ON LINE TEACHER: (Basahin ang lahat kung matiyaga kang magbasa..Ü)


1. dahil halos di na kayo nagkikita ng nanay at tatay mo, ang tawag na nila sayo ay “boarder” at sinisingil ka na nila sa upa mo.


2. eksperto ka na sa power nap, yung mga 15mins break nyo, itinutulog mo na


lang para fresh pagkacalls uli, mya na yung 1 hour nap.


3. di mo na alam bumiyahe pag may araw, nalilito ka bakit andaming tao,at bakit di na dumadaan ang dyip dun sa mga kalsada na 1 way.


4. marami ka nang naiipong jacket… nakakahiya naman kung pare-pareho jacket mo araw-araw at super ginaw naman pag wala.


5. ang tawag mo sa mga friends mo…GIRL! dude, bro, coach,tl, sup.


6. di na dugo ang dumadaloy sayo… kape!


7. finefake mo na wag maging “slang” pag nagbabayad ka sa tindahan o kaya sa


jeep para wag akalain na pasosyal ka… masama pa, mas panget pakinggan.


8. tadaaaaa! nagsasalita ka sa pagtulog mo, pati calls mo napapanaginipan mo.


9. pumuputi ka na dahil di ka na naaarawan.


10. sanay ka nang matulog kahit maingay sa loob at labas ng bahay nyo.


11. di ka na sanay sa traffic. papasok at pauwi sa trabaho walang traffic.


12. di na tama ang oras ng pagkain mo.


13. lahat ng kasabay mo sa jeep pag papasok ka, bagong ligo at bagong gel ikaw lang pagod na.


14. maski sa bahay, mabilis kang kumain.


15. hindi ka na kilala ng aso nyo


16. wala ka nang alam na balita.


17. hindi mo na kilala ang mga bagong artista.


18. ayaw mo nang pumasok sa internet cafe!


19. alam mo kung sino si Avaya


20. sanay ka nang pumasok ng bagong gising… kakabangon lang galing sleeping lounge.


21. maglo-lock ka ng pc kahit sa bahay na. pag pindot mo ng CTRL + ALT+ DEL iba ang lalabas.


22. sanay ka ng kumain sa harap ng pc mo kahit nsa bahay.


23. papasok ka sa ofc na nka-jeans, tshirt


24. mas malaki sweldo mo sa mga ka-batch mo, nagkakanda-kuba na sila sa trabaho nila


25. sanay ka na makarinig ng napakalakas na pag singa ng sipon.


26. marami ka ng naipon na microwavable container


27. hindi ka na sanay umakyat ng hagdan


28. sawa ka na internet kasi sa trabaho panay ang browsing..


29. during office hours, hindi ka lalabas ng building ng walang dalang relo.


baka ma-over break.


30. marunong ka na makipagsagutan at makipagbarahan ng english


31. pag may problema ka sa pc mo, una mong ginagawa ay clear cache at cookies.


32. naka id ka pa kahit nasa jeep


33. kaya mong tiisin na hindi palitan ang damit mo ng 16 hours


34. pagtinanong ng mga ka tropa mo kung ano ang sinusupport mo… sabihin mo msn.com (hahahaha!) kasi pag sinabi mong passport, hindi nila alam yun.


35. mas sanay ka na mag Ctrl+C & Ctrl+V at nahihiya ka na ngayon mo lang


nalaman yun.


36. kahit may malaki kayong speaker sa bahay gusto mo pa din naka-earphones!


37. nung pinasok ng akyat bahay ang bahay nyo, nagsisigaw ka ng HACKER!!!


HACKER!!!


38. puro kalyo na ang wrist at daliri mo


39. sanay ka nang makipag-usap sa telepono sa bahay kahit malakas ang TV. sa office parang limang TV ang nakatapat sayo habang may kausap.


40. pumasok ka na ng puyat at gutom


41. may picture ka ng nakasuot ng headset


42. sanay ka nang matulog ng dilat ang mata. hindi pwede pahuli.


43. lahat ng style ng pagtulog maiisip mo.


44. d2 ka na nasanay kumain ng pagkain na luto sa microwave


45. palaging matabang ang kape sa office


46. gusto mo na din bumili ng water dispenser kasi pitsel lang ang nasa bahay


nyo.


47. ice tea ka lang, mga kasama mo.. beer!!!


49. may bago kang damit kada sweldo dahil takot ka makarinig nanaman na


paulit-ulit ang suot mo.


50. Eto na ang tinuturing mong Buhay!


________________________________________

^ ^

May mali eh??

Ilang linggo na rin paikot ikot sa utak ko to. Ilang beses narin namin napagusapan ni kapatid at ng aking bhe half. At ngayon ready na akong iblog to. huwaw!ahaha.. At anung meron at nagtagalog ako?ahaha..Oh well..kanina pa nilulumot ang utak ko kakagawa ng lesson plan ko. woa! At ayun nga, ito ay tungkol sa mumunti kong hinaing sa sistema ng edukasyon. bow! Malamang marami sa atin ang makaka relate sa mga ganitong sitwasyon:

CASE 1:
Teacher: Class para sa finals kelangn nyo bumili ng super ticket na ito upang maipasa nyo ang subject na ito!
Class: Yey! Woa!

CASE 2:
Teacher: Incomplete ka ah. Panu na yan?
Student:  Baka po pwede humingi ng special project?
Teacher: Cge hindi pa ko nglulunch.
Student: Wala poko pera nagyon.
Teacher: Busy ako mamaya.

CASE 3: 
(3hours ang klase 2 1/2 hours na wala pa)
Class: Darating pa kaya sya?

Ilan lang yan sa mga senaryong bwisit na bwisit ako. hay. Hindi naman sa kj akong tao. Mahilig din naman ako gumala, mag cutting class, maginom at kung anu anu pang kalokohan na hindi mo akaling gagawin ko. Muka daw kasi akong role model student. Sabi nila. hahaha. Nung una nakakatuwa, sa pangalawang beses keri pa din pero nang lumaon nadismaya na ko at tuluyang nasora sa sistema na meron tayo. Hindi lang sistema sa eskwelahan ko ang tinutukoy ko. Magiging unfair ako kung ganun. Dahil sadyang talamak ang ganito. Mas malala pa nga sa iba. Ang ganitong sistema ang tuluyang pumapatay sa sistema ng edukasyon na meron tayo. Madalas marinig ko na nirereklamo ang maling imprenta sa libro. Ilang beses ko na panuod sa t.v. non na pinasara ng DECS ang karamihan sa mga publishing house non na may maling imprenta. Oo, DECS pa yun at hindi pa Dep Ed. Ganun na katagal. Ganun na kaluma. Pero sa hanggang ngayon dun pa din ang sisi. Wala naman talag dun ang sagot e. Ang sagot ay nasa GURO.

Don't get me wrong, hindi ako galit kay ma'am, sir, prof. teacha..whatever! Pero sa tingin ko kung may tao man na malaki ang magiging tulong para maisalba ang inaanay nateng utak yun ay walang iba kundi sila. I mean KAME. Malaki ang respeto ko sa mga guro hindi dahil sa yun ang trabaho ko. Kung tutuusin nga hindi naman talaga ko dapat nasa ganung propesyon dahil hindi yung ang tinapos ko. Ni hindi rin pumasok sa isip ko na mapupunta ko sa ganito. Ang alam ko lang masyado ko nadala sa GOKUSEN1 at hinanap ko pa talaga ang 2&3 nya sa pila ng DVD sa Quiapo. (tska ko na ibblog ang tungkol sa GOKUSEN..hehe) Madalas pag nagpapasalamat at tuwang tuwa ang mga Koreano kong estudyante hindi ko alam kung matutuwa ba ko o maasar. Gusto kong magturo ng Pinoy. Gusto ko walang no read no write sa Pinas. Gusto ko maging mobile teacher! Gusto magka school na yung sistema hindi inaanay at yung mga bata hindi pianpakaen ng kangkong. Waaaa! gusto ko..gusto ko..hay...

At ayun nga, nakakalungkot lang. hay. Kung magagawa lang ng lahat ng guro na itama ang mga maling imprenta sa libro. Kung hindi lang nya hahayaan na pumasa yung student dahil lang sa may pera to at kaya syang ilibre sa kahit gaanu pa kamahal na resto. Kung tama ang orasan nya. Kung marunong sya mahiya. Kung andito sila. Kung.. Kung..Kung..Kung fu..ahahaha...

Umiral na naman ang pag ka idealistic ko.

hayyyy..
kelangan ng Pilipinas ng MARAMING MATITINO AT HUWARANG GURO. Hindi ng PULITIKO.

Ikaw pwede ka?

Welcome back to me!ahaha

Woa! Long time no post! It's been a while since I got something on my site. Oh well..I'd tried to squizzed it up with my sched but I was sooo busy. I even had days when I went to work without taking a bath. siyet!ahaha..but good thing I was able to surpass a sem without loosing my job. I've got a lot of things to tell but I still have to sleep. haha. i just had an hour of sleep yesterday. I'm deadly tired yet i'm happy for in my last exam i was able to answer those freaking questions.ahaha. All those things were on my reviewer. Woa! God is so good to me. Wee!

Wanna see how I so blessed this quarter? Here's the list  of the simple yet so meaningful blessing I got from bestfriend:

Still @ yoon's with no record of absents. :)

me and my bhe celebrated our second anniversary last august.

Cancan's mom finished the chemotheraphy session with positive results. :)

I got a new teaching job as part of  SM project. (tenx te tet for the referal)

(hopefully with good grades)

Finished the first semester.

------------

Those were just few among the list for I might consume the whole page if i'll list down all of those blessings. basta Thank You Lord! mwah! ^^

Battle of the Brain..less?

Why am I gonna blog something about this?Well, this might probably surprise everyone except for my bhe half. He knows it. And I think he's dealing with it for me. For loves sake. ahaha. So here comes my disorder. Tenen! Anxeity as what wikipedia defines is a psychological and physiological state characterized by cognitive, somatic, emotional, and behavioral components These components combine to create an unpleasant feeling that is typically associated with uneasiness, fear, or worry. If you are following my blog ( i hope so?) you'll probably have an idea about my so called battle. I've been dealing with this for quiet sometime. Honestly,I already had this feeling when I'm still in my grade school years.I never grew up with compliments.I have my own world. Though I got alot friends most of the time I can't deal with my anxiety. I had this feeling that I'm the most ugly person in earth, the one who got a disgusting look not to mention my body size, my color, my hair, my teeth..everything about me. I almost had this thought at the back of my mind that everyone will do shit to me just because I'm just like this. You might be laughing while reading this post but this is a serious thing I think (just I thought?) that up to now I've been dealing with. If you could still recall I've mentioned something about "script" on my post about Surprise. So here's the picture. My bhehalf's friend was her x. And I invited her. She's a nice person and there's no question about that. I invited her not just because she's supposed to be in that place for she's one of  my bhe half's tropa way back in highschool but for the reason that I also wanna test myself. Sounds so selfish right? But that is the only way (i think again?) that I could overcome this feeling of being anxious. I don't know where the hell I got this feeling but if I could only forget it as simple as forgetting the answers during recitation I WOULD. But this is a process..which I think I positively going through. Before we enter the house I told my bhehalf not to leave me. He's clueless that time. I tried to avoid it. Grrrrr! But I can't. I wanted to stop the thoughts coming into my head but I was as if a pc generating a program on it. But the next few hours he sat beside me he knew that something was wrong and then he gave me a hug. So what's the result of my ultimate test? I'm a bit fine now. Though there's still moment where i feel the same thing but gladly I'm starting to feel good about myself.

I'M UNIQUE.
I'M DIFFERENT.
I'M SPECIAL.

 As such, it is distinguished from fear, which occurs in the presence of an observed threat. Additionally, fear is related to the specific behaviors of escape and avoidance, whereas anxiety is the result of threats that are perceived to be uncontrollable or unavoidable.

"a future-oriented mood state in which one is ready or prepared to attempt to cope with upcoming negative events" . A distinction between future vs. present dangers that divides anxiety and fear.

-----------------Way to go Marshi! Adja!

Surprise! Again? haha..

09.25.09 This ain't new to me..I'm fond of suprising people. But mind you guys, not a simple surprise. I've done something like this two years ago. (You can visit my old site for details http://kookhai.wordpress.com/). After two years, I've decided again to setup my bhehalf.haha. I started planning for that surprise for about a month. After our anniversary I started searching his friends over different social networks. My plan was to invite his highschool and college friends. Meeting his college friends would be easy since my boardmate is one of his tropa planning would be easy. But I didn't expect that it would be that difficult this time. Woah! Aside from the fact I'm busy with my school I still have to deal with my students and all the deadlines. Not to mention those time that I almost caught up with my plan. But still I was able to do it. Well..ahaha..
So here's the original plan...

After my shift (that's 9am) I'll go to his crib while his at school. I'll help daddy with food stuffs. i'll go back to Sta. Mesa so Ken won't notice anything about my plan.

Ken would invite all his classmates thinking that all of them will attend then on the last minute have their different excuses. Obviously, he should notice that it was part of the plan. :)

At 3pm when all things are up we'll go to his crib and that's it! ;)

What happened....

At 9am after my shift I went to their crib.  Withhout any idea where's their crib.haha. They just moved there few weeks ago tha's why no one knows his crib.

I arrived there at about 11am. Woah! I thought I'm lost. Well, partly lost. haha. I had to take the jeepney again and again.hahaha.Maybe its because I haven't sleep yet that's why I my brain was at my feet. I brought a cake from Red ribbon. I had to go back to the main avenue and walk for about half an hour just to see that freaking bakeshop.

 I went back to Sta.Mesa at 12noon. Ken's class was over. I'm still calm for I already talk to his groupmates about the plan. They'll be the one in charge for the delay of his celeb because of the feasib meeting. i even had the chance to read my book while I'm on my journey. After an hour in the traffic jam I recieved again a message from my bhehalf. Their meeting was over and he'll be going to mycrib. What????? I'm still a street away from my crib. I hurriedly jump out on the cab and ran as fast as I could. Good thing I won the race.haha

DISAPPOINTED! I saw a big sign on my bhehalf's face when he got into my crib. No one will join us on his birthday. As much as I wanted to cheer him up still he wouldn't mind it. That wasn't exactly my plan. I told carlo to leave even just two or three of his groupmates so he won't be totally devasted. But apparently, we had some misunderstanding on the plan. Emergency Plan to the rescue.

We wait til 4pm for Carlo. So we headed to his crib with Jr, Carlo, Kua Cha and Mark. He's a bit ok now. haha. WHile we where in the cabn daddy texted him telling him that his highschool friends are there in the house. Waaaaaaa! That's also not part of the plan. Grrrr! Ken ask me if i did something on his bday perhaps a surprise or anything. Since I was a theather artist during highschool i was able to hide the fact that i was the one who plan all that shit. haha.

5pm. We're about to enter the villa when I started telling him my sorry. haha. I told him my script.haha.(I'll blog it later.haha. That's a different thing. haha.) I let the the four boys enter the gate first. And so we follow them and went into the place. What's his reaction?well........ahaha

Take a look at it!

It isn't really the only things that you can see in my world. But these are few things that you can see if you'll have an on the spot checkpoint on my bag. Mind you guys I bring these stuff anywhere that's why my bhehalf kept on bugging me about this coz most of the time he's the one carrying my bag. haha. He has no choice but to carry my "bagahe". I'm not fond of bringing small bags. I kept everything in small bags and put them on my big bag. So if you'll open my bag you'll see alot of small pouches inside. The first group is my "pencil case"haha. I've heard a loud nerve cracking laugh from my bhe when I told him that I'm going to dv to search for a cute pencil case and then he answered "alin bibilin mo yung may cartoons at umiilaw?hahaha". Well I'm serious about it Mr. Kiko! hehe. So here is the first group. (First Pic) I bought this pouch for 15bucks. A barbie ruler got it from my mom. 2 highlighters from bhe. 0.3 signpens. I already consumed 4pcs of that. A pencil, cute erasers which I got for 18bucks(6pcs,) liquid eraser and small sharpener. If you'll gonna look closer in the pouch you'll a keychain; that was given to me by the owner of Yoons Academy. I just saw her in the elevator when I was about to go home. We had a short chit chat. Fortunately, we are talking in English not in Korean. haha. Before we leave the building she tap my shoulder and gave me simple yet very inspiring message. And to my surprise she handed me this simple handmade keychain. How sweet! hehe.

The second group is my "kikay kit". A Lesportsac Pouch from Leslie. She gave me that after she had her long vacation at NY. She keeps on telling us that its orig. The hell I care!haha. What you can see on the inside are few staffs that keeps me beautiful.haha. On the go retouching!haha. I'm using powder instead of foundation. haha. A tomato orange flavor of blush on to put some life on my face coz I look so dull because of lack of sleep. A mirror from Anne. Big comb for my curly hair. I used to be curl but unfortunately the curst was over that's why I'm back from being straight now.haha. Lipgloss which I only use when it's cold. 3in 1 make up (blush on+lipstick+eyeshadow). 2in 1 eyeshadow+lipstick. Yeah! I love those stuff that comes with easy to carry like in one..whatever in one. haha. If it would be possible 10in 1 will do..why not?haha. Another Kikay thing is my curler. Just for Kikay!haha.The small bottle beside my powder is my lotion. I can't start my class without that thing. haha. I just refill this bottle from the one that was given to me last christmas. A victoria secret from Kua Jc. Last but definetly not the least coz this is something I would never ever dare to leave. My magic!haha. My concealer. This was given to me by boardmate Lyka. I can't leave the house without these stuff.

The third picture is not actually a bag but a coin purse which was given to again by Leslie. When she visited Hongkong. Again she kept on bugging us about this orig Lesportsac. haha. The two chains on my purse were from Sette and Chai. Sette gave the dream catcher 3years ago after our Baguio trip and Chai gave me the Emerald Birth Stone Chain from San Fabian Church. The pin that's in the right side of my purse (I hope its visible) that is from Atty. Mae my superior who happens to be my closest friend in the office.

So you're probably convince now that I have a very messy bag. ahaha. The next group is my stuff in general. Huh?haha.. So I have my umbrella that's from my mom. My thumbler which i carry everywhere beacause I get easily tired and that is the only thing that keeps me going. water Theraphy! Go Go Go! Under my thumbler is my plastic envelope which carry all my important documents for my work and school. Right beside on it is my key chain. My first baby KENSHI which was given to me by my bhe half when he was courting me.haha. Aside from Kenshi who's holding my keys is a rosary also came from my bhe, a key chain from Greece courtesy of Atty. Padilla, a flashlight from my sis Te Krystel and a  Yahoo lace from my boardmate Tep. The black polca dot pouch from Egg was from te jess CCCPLO accountant. That's a christmas gift. Inside that pouch are my meds. Yeah! I got a lot of  it. From headache to memory loss I got an answer to that.  I drink to that!haha Not to mention my inhaler whose at the side of this pouch. Woah! Thank God I'm still breathing. haha. Lastly, my card reader. i just brought it at CDr King. I call this group as general coz I really don't know how to categorize it. haha.

Hmm..So here's the following identification cards that you can see on my wallet. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to take a picture on my wallet. Maybe I'll just post it on the next day if i still have time. My PUP Law school I.D. I already surrender my BPAG I.D. My WESTERN UNION Card which I haven't use. haha. My HSBC CC which I recently used when I purchased my Civil Code Book. My SAMASA ID. Oath of Alligiance. My ever saving BPI card. My Laking National Card. Laking National To!haha. My Intel Care card unfortunately it's expired already. My Wendy's Card. My Red Card from HSBC, My ALUMNI ID from my Sintang Paaralan and Lastly, the proof o0f my income.haha. My TIN Card.

So here's the last part.Oops! I don't carry that big Vaseline thing. haha.But I used this almost every day. I can't sleep without it. My PJ. Petroleum Jelly. My boardmate Phen was the one who owns this bbut she gave me the right to overuse it. haha. I kept a small one of this but unfortunately I already consume it. haha. On the back of my PJ is my Bath& Body works Perfume. Love it! and at the back of it is my ever protective Green Cross Alcohol. The pink thing on the left side is just my feminine wash.haha. Buut I don't carry that. That is only the case of the bottle. And I love it coz its pink.haha

TIMES UP!haha

You almost see my private life. haha. Its weirtd yet cool.haha. I think.haha. So the next time you see me and my bhe arguing about something you know alreadfy the reason of it.haha.

Changes?How do you deal with it?..

It's been a long time since I've post something on my blog. Oh well..I haven't got a lot of time to finish an entry. I've got so many drafts on my dashboard which I wasn't able to finish for lack of time. But since my two students were absent today I'm gonna let my heart out. Haha. I've been dealing with this feeling for quiet sometime. From the time I enter law school life has been a different thing. I have to change my lifestyle. Adjust my time. Forget about spending to much into something unimportant. Though I still manage to balance my work and studies there's still somethings I can't hold on to. And that is friendship.

Last Sunday I got a message from Sette telling us that she broke up with Je. She texted me around 12in the midnight but unfortunately I 've read the message around 3am for its the time that I have to go to my work. I just had a short chitchat with her since that time she still awake. i think we just exchange 5 messages and that's it. That wasn't surprising. Most of the time I sent  reply to those who texted me an hour or more late and worst sometimes I just ignore it. That's a bad habit I know. But I can't help not to do it. There were times that I can't help but think that the main reason why most of my friends got no time for some friendship moments its because I myself can't give it too. The feeling of being stranger with your friends. I hate it. I wanted to pause and spend a quiet sometime with them. Ask them what's going on. Give them a hug and show them how a friend can change the world's shit to something good.

So how do I deal with changes?

This poor little girl don't know how to deal with it. I'm honest to that. I'm having  a hard time when it comes to dealing with changes. I'm too emotional though I'm trying not to show it. Oh well.. I tried not to get envy everytime they got new friends and suddenly forget about the old ones. Cancan and my bhe half knew that. They're the one who notice it. Its not bad to have new friends but sometimes just because where too happy with new ones we forget about the old ones. I felt guilty when I realized that I almost change not because I got new ones but because I was too busy...

Cope with it.

REAL HAPPINESS???

Well I guess it would be difficult for me to define the title above. It's something that you could search in the net and got about 1,000 results for definition yet the real thought of it would be different. So why would the hell I got the idea of making something about the real happiness despite the fact that I cannot define it nor explain it. Oh well..How am I supossed to start this?hmm..So I won't mention any definition by this time. I would just like to share something today. Wow! This is unusual.haha. I used to hide my identity.haha. I just turn 22 last summer where my bhehalf and my few super close friends surpised me with a simple cake and bday bash. That's also the time when I got an answered prayer in passing the Law school Admission Exam. i graduated two years ago but unfortunately wasn't able to enrol immediately in the Lawschool for the reason that our Economy has..insufficient fund.haha. I worked for about a year in Law firm where I gain considerable experience of being a P.A. of the Royal highness Leslie. L.R. to P.A. (Legal Researcher to Personal Alalay) When I got enough money for my enrollment I hurriedly resign from my work and join the leage of zombie teachers in Ortigas. haha. I work as a Korean Teacher up to present. The workplace and time was really different and most especially my boss.hehe. The classes in the Law school started in the mid week of June. I'm a teacher and I'm also a student. Depite the busy schedule I make sure that I spend time with precious people in earth. And if there's something I learn in my childhood days and practicing this time that is the ART of BALANCE. I'm a gynast when I was a kid. I can stretch myself to whetever position my master wants me to do. So why would this so called Art is important to me now?Well I guess for someone who mess up most of the time with her schedule should have join the club when she was young. Time is a very important thing. You have to use it wisely. Every weekend I went back to my hometown for my family. My mom and Dad. Everynow and then I get the chance of meeting my friends. Old and new. I'm a lover, a friend, a daughter, a follower, a teacher,..And if there's one thing that keeps me doing all those things is the aforementioned topic of this post. Seeing smiles from my mom and dad everytime I got home safe. Passing the exams and reciatations in school notwithstanding the lack of sleep. Hearing "Thank You and you're the best Teacher!" from my students. A hug and comfort from friends. A faithful and loving bhe half. i may have difficulties in life til now but still am thankful and feel blessed for all of those things. I'm glad I was able to go back with the world when I committed suicide when I was in my Junior year. That was able to heal all the wounds in the past. That despite all the troubles I made still I was able to get up. And I guess that is the main reason why I can smile and feel the real thing now.


Love it. That's Real happiness......

An Inconvenient Truth---Something to watch!

This is something I learned about the movie that I've watched last friday in my ENVI LAW class. Its the movie of Al Gore. The famous yet frustrated Al Gore. FYI for those who didn't know him. Al Gore is an Environment Activist who won the popular vote by approximately 500,000 votes, but ultimately lost the election to Republican candidate George W. Bush when the legal controversy over the Florida election recount was eventually settled in the U. S. Supreme Court by a 5–4 margin in favor of Bush. The movie was entitled "An Inconvenient Truth" which also has a book entitled the same. An eye opener for all of us. I guess so. Though it wasn't my first time to watch something like that yet at the end of the movie my brain freezed and suddenly ask the question which Al gore ask on the movie. What really stike me the most is not the devastating situation of the world. I knew that. I've seen the same movie 11th hour who also has almost the same content. What strikes me the most is his explanation on how human's reacted on difficult situation as compare to a frog. he said.."Human are like frogs. When you put a frog into cup of hot water it eventually pump up and reacted for help. While if you put it on a cup of water with a "not so hot" and comfortable water while burning it on a stove he'll do nothing but stay without knowing that heat coming from the stove will later on kill him. And after few seconds here comes the frog worrying about his situation. He will push his luck and pray that he could come out." Funny but true. We all tend to react that way. We just enjoy the moment without thinking that this would make us miserable in few times from now. Just lilke our problem with our environment. wow! I'm speaking now as if I'm an Environmental activist. Well I guess it would be just for me to say this though a lot of people might laugh. We all tend to react like that pitty frog. I wish I could have the same determinitaion that Al gore has. Person to person. Family to family. Group by group. Country to country. We can make change. Let's all change the attitude of a frog. REACT.

Weekend again..

I've got a lot of plans for tomorrow. I'll be meeting my highschool friends. Wee! I miss them so much! I have to wake up as early as 6am for the mass. Not so early compare to my everyday routine of waking up at 3am.haha. I'll be with mom and dad in the mass in the morning. I must thank God for all those blessings he gave me most especially for my midterm grades. Woa! I still have to work out for my Fainal grades! His will be done! Weee!Going back with my plans, after the mass I'll go at Anne's crib. Just two hours of chitchatting with them. I hope so. haha. As much as I want to stay and spend more time with them talking about anything under the sun but I can't. I still have a lot of things to do. After a short gathering with my old friends i'll go back home for my Lola's death anniversary. Spent 2-3 hours with my family and have to pack up my things going back to Manila. It's holiday on Monday but I still have to go back because Yoons Academy only follows Korean Holidays and its a deadly sin if you make your self absent.haha. It's 6 in the evening now. I already spent an hour with my pc. I've got enough time to chillax. I think so. Back to reality.




Consti mode.

It's UNFAIR!

I'm a bit pissed when I got a note from my manager asking about the reason why I had 2 missed class with my student. I was supposed to start a class with him two days ago. I admit I didn't call him but that wasn't my fault. I'm not used in blaiming others with my fault but this time I would do it because that would not be fair on my part. (I'm getting irritated now. grrr!) Our system in the office was changed for I think third time already. A new site and system was introduced. Not exactly introduced because the AM teachers wasn't informed about it nor taught about this freaking system. The site was good but apparantly not effective for us teachers because all of the text in the site were written in Korean Language. For Christ sake! We're just apprentice when it comes to Korean language. We just had a short class about how their alphabet was written and now they expect us that we knew already all the letters in their alphabet and how we are supposed to read all those character. oh well..That wasn't really my concern. Learning Korean language would be fine because that is a fun thing to do. But my concern is about how they brought out the system and let it run without informing us how to use it. I asked my TL (Team leader) about the daily sched but she just let me used my back up file which was the last month's sched. I even asked her about the daily report that were about to upload everyday and she just told me that it wasn't needed anymore. She didn't even know how to use the system because we haven't taught about it. oh well...not my fault...

Never make your friend feel they're alone...so disturb them as much as you can.

Iba iba man na ang kalsada naten nagyon. Minsan naman e daanan nyo pa din ako. Ayun. Miss ko na kayo. Bawal magdrama. Miss ko lang talaga kayo. Hik. Hik. Kampay!

Today's Horoscope

If anyone is entitled to have some fun, it's you -- and it's about darned time too. You've turned down all kinds of wonderful temptations lately, in just about every category. But just as you start to wonder why, the universe will arrange to deliver your reward -- a one-of-a-kind reward designed especially for you. Don't question it, and don't worry about why it's there. Entice an appropriate playmate and enjoy!
hmmm..perhaps i'm depriving myself with some chillax moments. oh well, how could you possibly do that when everytime you're about to text your friends and ask for a gimmick you suddenly had a second thought and caught yourself staring at the books you're bound to read.
tommorow will be our day!forget about the books...hehehe

week after week

And so we got the results of our first midterm exam with atty. laggui. All of us were frustrated. Though i've got a passing grade still I felt frustrated for I can do better than that. Oh well, I didn't expected that he would be that strict when it comes to handwriting and margin stuffs. There's no light during that time. It's blackout. Deym! How could you possibly perfect the exam if lots of disturbance keep on bagging you?hmmm..I shouldn't justify my stupidity as what my prof. always tells us. We've been struggling with this anxiety for almost three months now. We hardly can't figure it out where we're gonna be the next next few months. Whether all of us are still fulltime student or not. whoa! And so here comes the final exam, few weeks from now we'll be out again in the world. Leaving a life away from reality. Well, this is reality i think so. So I guess its better if we start digging the land so that so that we'll not gonna harvest again saeme thing as midtermexam. Forget about studying under the sun. Discussing things outside the classroom. We may get all the disturbances in the world but who cares?

i just hope light will be back at school. no need for gov't bidding.

"We fight, get beat, rise and fight again.."

(Down R-L) Atty. Calilio, Atty. Acosta, Atty. Gloria, Atty. Barbosa (Up R-L) Atty. Nas, Atty. Anaway.. Claim it! :)

way back into love

February 14, 2007

All of us were single.

No boyfriend to hang out with.

No flowers to count.

No chocolates to eat.

Everyone is wondering.

Everyone is confused.

When will be time?

Who will be the one?

Some says it's a curse.

Some says its not yet time.

After a year here comes my man.

Then we graduated and took sometime.

Another SINGLE found her man.

It's quiet rocky most of the time.

On and Off more than ten times.

But gladly still together at this time.

A year after,

here comes a new couple.

Another SINGLE met her Mr. Right.

No need to wait for someone who's on Macau.

Three of us were committed while three are not.

No need to go in a hurry for in God's time you'll met your Mr. Right.

Cancan don't look back rather look ahead.

For God definitely reserve someone for you on the right track.

De, look back. you might walking too fast and he can't reach your track.

Cabong, sit back and relax. In God's time you'll be hearing the beat of your heart.

We don't know what will happen next.

We can't say how far we can go.

For in love you don't own anything.

You just have to risk everything.

Coz you might loose or win in the end.

It had took a long time for us to meet the missing piece of the puzzle.

Too many roads; to take too many frogs to meet.

Yet in the end what matter is not the time we spent being SINGLE but

the moment we spent with the right person for us.

Coz waiting for true love is a worth while thing.

This is not a curse.

It's not just time.

For in God's time, we'll all be walking in the aisle,

saying I do with the right man.....

Be patient. Be inlove.

August 18, 2009

the other side of the world

hmmm.. I noticed that I almost posted just one side of my world. My routine when it comes to my school. I haven't share anything at all..yeah!haha..Just to freshen up my site that is full of anguish from the cruel world of law school. hmm.. How will I start?haha..Its pretty obvious why my site was named Marshi's World because its undeniably true that i really love and addicted to it. Marshmallows. I just can't resist the tempting sweet and soft mollows specially when I had a busy and a "not so good" day. I love writing down my thoughts. I love rainy days. I easilly get emotional with things. I rememeber the last time I cried was yesterday. I was just sitting right beside my bhe when we were playing this song from destiny's child cater to you. I don't know why the hell I cried that time.haha. Weird yet would not be a suprise thing to my bhe. He knows my mood swing. Though most of the time he get confused and think that something's wrong with him. I'm a self confessed possesive. I want the whole world see my existence. I'm afraid of loosing the things the really I treasured to the point of holding it too much. We never fight about that. I can say that I was too lucky to find someone who can love me despite of my imperfections. Being possesive is a psychological disorder as what I have reasearched. It is a disorder where in someone has experience a depression and rejection and wishes not to experience that way again and to make it worst if they become happy over something they always think that it might not gonna work out and same thing would happen. That's how imperfect I am. Atleast I admitted that already and I 'm trying to work it out with the help of my bhe. It's a mutual agreement that every couple i think must understand. Its something that you don't need to hide nor disregard for along the way this psycho disorder will certainly mess up your relation. I've been with my Bhe for almost 2 years now. We're about to celebrate our 2nd anniversary this coming 25th. Its not the years that you spent together that would make you feel better if you're having that disorder. But the fact the he's willing to catch all those pains whenever you'rte getting attack with this disorder without being bratt. I'm glad I was able to meet him for up to now I still don't know how to cope up with this freaking disoder. A big Thank's for my BHE...mwah!

love you bhe!mwah!